


give my new body a chance (it's all that i have).

by brooklynbis



Series: Simon and Bram VS The Chronic Illness Agenda. [3]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Chronic Illness, Diabetes, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Movie based, Protective Bram Greenfeld, Sickfic, Supportive Bram Greenfeld, bram takes care of simon, diabetes au, diabetes is a bitch, diabetic simon, diabetic!simon, diabetic!simon au, hyperglycaemia, type one diabetes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 17:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15539034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynbis/pseuds/brooklynbis
Summary: Simon really didn't know what to expect. He just wanted to go back to his old life for a bit, before all the needles and worrying about what he was consuming. Was that so much to ask for?______________________AKA simon goes back to school after being diagnosed, it doesn't go to plan and bram experiences simon's first high blood sugar.





	give my new body a chance (it's all that i have).

**Author's Note:**

> again, this is mainly based off my own experience here (very heavily in fact). all systems used will be british as I'm from the UK, hopefully that doesn't get too confusing for anyone. 
> 
> trigger warnings : needles (let me know If there is anything else that should go here!)
> 
> title from 'body' by syml. lowercase intended.   
> after this fic, i'll probably turn this series into non chronological order so it'll be a bit more random, but it'll all be from the same universe. 
> 
> comments, feedback and kudos would be appreciated if you enjoyed, plus any prompts which you can leave in the comments or in my tumblr ask box @/brooklynbis

Simon really didn't know what to expect. It had been two weeks, and he finally had to go back to school. It was much against his will, but he knew he couldn't do much about it or stall for much longer. 

Once bram had known the truth, he spent a lot of his spare time researching the illness simon now had, how he could help, how to adjust and other miscellaneous facts about diabetes. He helped him adjust to his new, needle filled life. Every time he had to do an injection, bram was either there or simon would call him - either way, bram was more than glad that simon trusted him enough. 

After a week, simon agreed to meet with leah, nick, abby and garrett and with bram's help, he told them the basics of what had happened in the past two weeks. He let bram in again pretty quickly after returning home, but apart from him, he had shut out everyone from his ordinary life. They were completely supportive of him, and all offered to help him when they could, if he needed them to. He appreciated it to say the least. 

However, adjusting to his new life had had plenty of time, and his parents wouldn't let him have any more time off after he proved he could give his own injections (something bram managed to get him to do with a lot of comfort and reassurance). Since his diagnosis, he had to get his driving license reapproved or some shit to stop him having hypos and crashing or whatever, so he wasn't allowed to drive for the forseeable future. Because of this, bram agreed to do the school pick ups for the next few weeks. 

Now, simon was stood in front of his mirror, looking at his arms and legs in the mirror. Every part of him where he had injected had little lumps and bumps from injecting, and bruises had formed in most of the older spots. His fingers had ugly little red dots from tiny scabs from the blood tests, on all of his fingers. They had little bumps on the sides, ones that would never get the opportunity to fade. Yes, he had gained some weight again after his parents attempt to 'fatten' him up again, but that didn't excuse all the marks this illness had left on him already. After two weeks. 

He heard his phone sound off, letting him know that bram was now leaving his house. That was his signal that he had to get ready, even if he didn't want to. Bram had agreed to come over earlier this morning, knowing simon would probably need some time and some encouragement from bram before he would be ready to go anywhere. 

He started to look through his clothes, trying to find stuff that would cover all of his marks. It wasn't hard, since it was november so it was cold enough to get away with his long sleeves and long jeans and long everything. 

Before he made up his mind of what he wanted to wear, he decided a shower would probably do him some good. He grabbed a towel before making his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind himself so his mother or nora didn't walk in on him. He turned the shower up to hot, thinking that maybe if his skin was red enough, it would hide some of the bruises. 

For a while, he forgot about everything. He had some elliot smith playing on his phone, the water and the music were the only things he was focused on as he slowly washed his hair and body before accepting the fact that he had to get out, or he would make his boyfriend and friends late for school, and he didn't want that. 

Everything he did now was with a certain slowness. Despite being so close to death at one point, it hadn't given him any sense of rush. If anything, he had only slowed everything down more. He didn't know why, but everything he did was slow now, as if he still didn't have the energy to move from his bed. 

As he walked back into his bedroom in a fresh pair of boxers, he saw bram stood by his wardrobe, flicking through his clothes. 

"hey! You scared me a little there si," bram chuckled breathlessly, stepping away from the wardrobe to his boyfriend, who looked nervous as he fiddled with his fingers. 

"could we just put it off one more day?" simon whined quietly as bram sighed and shook his head. 

"I wish we could, but you have to go back at some point. I'll be there, and so will leah, and nick, and abby and garrett. It's gonna be fine," he said, cupping simon's cheek gently and watching fondly as simon closed his eyes and pushed his head further into bram's hand. 

Bram watched quietly as simon chose some clothes to wear and pulled them on until he was fully dressed and covered. He had purposefully chosen a sweater that was slightly too big, which he had promptly pulled down to cover his hands as sweater paws. 

"you're still beautiful," bram said quietly from simon's bed, and it was as if he could read simon's mind. 

"doesn't feel like it," simon mumbled, looking at himself in the mirror again. 

"well, you are. Bruises and all," bram said softly, getting up to stand behind simon and wrap his arms around simon's torso. He pressed a soft kiss to the crevice between his neck and shoulder before pulling away carefully. 

"we'd better go. Have you given your injection?" bram reminded him as simon sighed and grabbed the kit he was about to shove into his bag, quickly giving the injection in his stomach before putting it away. When he looked up from grabbing his bag, he saw bram smiling at him, holding out his hand for simon to take. 

"you okay?" 

"i'm okay," simon confirmed before the two of them left his room to go to bram's car. 

_____________

As he walked into the school, he felt bram let go of his hand. He was never a big fan of PDA and simon accepted that, even if he did want the physical reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere. He heard leah, nick and abby continue their conversations as usual, trying to keep things normal but he wasn't really processing what they were saying. 

He could feel everybody's stares on him. No, they hopefully didn't know why he had been gone so long, but they knew how long he had been gone, and they knew it doesn't take somebody three weeks to recover from the flu. He felt like a specimen in a zoo as everyone stopped what they were doing to watch him as he walked past. 

Eventually, they all had to seperate to go to their lockers, but bram was insistent on staying with simon whenever he could. When simon was trying to punch the code into his locker, he felt bram stand next to him, towering over him. Bram had always been taller than him, and he really didn't mind. 

"see? Not so bad," bram said quietly to him as simon looked up at him. 

"i haven't even gotten to class yet, don't speak so soon," simon replied softly, closing his locker after he got what he needed. 

"you're gonna be fine, alright? I believe in you, and i'm proud of you already. I should probably go, but i'll meet you at lunch, yeah?" bram asked and simon slowly nodded after a second. Bram pressed a kiss to his forehead and squeezed his hand before leaving, and simon could feel the stares intensify.

It was fine, he could do this. Bram said so. 

It didn't take him long to walk to his first class, and find his usual seat in the back of the classroom. He sat down, and was just minding his own business. Keeping out of the spotlight. Clearly, as students filled the room, that wasn't happening. 

"where did you go simon?"  
"you didn't have the flu."  
"you were skiving."  
"he's just a lazy ass!"   
"yeah, i heard he didn't get out of bed for four days straight when he was off!" 

Simon didn't say anything, just staring straight ahead as students turned in their seats to catch a glance at him. He started thinking through the lyrics to one of his favourite songs to tune them out. He didn't notice the class had started until he finished reciting lyrics in his brain.

"...so for this project, you will be partnered up. You will have to learn how to work together properly, as your grade relies on each other. Now, one by one, you will each come up and pick a name from this hat until everyone is partnered up. Adam, you can pick first." 

Simon knew he was probably going to dislike whoever he was partnered up with. 

"i got simon," a girl named Kenzie said, with a glint in her eyes. She was one of the 'popular' girls, one of the ones who just couldn't accept that he liked guys, and that he was in a relationship. She sat down at his desk, way too close for his liking. He cleared his throat and shuffled his chair away a bit. 

"right, so that's everyone partnered up! I don't want any requests to change your pairs, you all chose these, and it won't be happening. It's due in three days time, so get to work!" the teacher said with a clap of her hands as the room disrupted into chatter. 

"so, why were you really off for three weeks? That's not exactly normal," Kenzie said with a smile as she leant closer to him. 

"i had the flu," he lied, knowing that was what bram had told everyone. But she wasn't going to let it drop that easily. 

"no you didn't. Were you out cheating on bram? I know you don't really like him, you just wanted the attention, which is fair enough i guess." she continued, making simon frown as he fiddled with his pencil. 

"no i wasn't, i love him. Now drop it. What was the project about?" simon asked, trying to change the topic. 

"you should've been listening. I know you don't love him, i know you'd rather date somebody like me. Kind, pretty, funny. What's not to like?" she said, batting her eyelashes as she rolled her eyes. 

"the fact that you're a girl, and you're none of those things. You would never be my type, because you're a girl." simon replied, irritated with her already. The thought of spending three days trying to work on a project with her was killing him already. He stood up from his desk and walked towards the door before he was stopped by the teacher. This caught everyone's attention. 

"and where do you think you're going?" Ms Porter asked. 

"to the bathroom?" he said with a questioning gaze as she shook her head. 

"No you're not. You've missed enough of my class from whatever you've been wasting time on the past three weeks, now sit down," she replied, making the class burst into laughter. He looked around the room before focusing his gaze back onto Ms porter. 

"no," he said before grabbing his bag from where he had dropped it and leaving the room, hearing the laughter following him from out the door. 

After taking a couple of minutes to calm down and reassure himself that he would be fine, he slowly walked down the corridors to the main entrance. He quickly signed the leaving sheet before walking out of the doors. He knew he would have to walk to wherever he wanted to go, but he didn't particularly care. Anything was better than staying in there. 

_____________

He had grabbed a starbucks on his way home, making a little detour. He hadn't given any insulin for the sugary coffee, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted to go back to his old life for a bit, before all the needles and worrying about what he was consuming. Was that so much to ask for? 

The house was empty when he returned, except for beiber. He stroked his dog's head gently before grabbing his coffee and walking up to his room. He closed the door behind him and chucked his bag into a far corner. He dropped his coffee on his desk before letting himself fall onto his bed.

Bram promised that it would be alright. Not only that, but he was going to be disappointed in simon now, and he wouldn't be proud of him anymore. He'd see how weak he was and then he'd break up with him anyway. 

Simon sighed. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay there all day, but he also knew it was only a matter of time before bram and his friends realised he wasn't there and got worried. He didn't really care. He put his phone onto silent and left it on his desk before kicking off his shoes and getting into bed, still fully clothed. From the warmth of his sheets, he watched as it began to rain. He could vaguely see his phone begin to flash with messages after about an hour, but he didn't bother to get up and read them. 

Eventually, he felt himself drifting off into a half sleep state. He didn't really care enough to stop it. 

_________________

He woke a few hours later, feeling like crap. The first thing to come to his mind was how much he needed to go to the loo, so he got out of bed and went to the loo before stretching and returning to his room. The house was still silent except for the occasional noise from beiber. He grabbed his phone after a while and looked through the messages he had received. 

He had a few from each of his friends, but most of them were from bram. 

Bram<3 : simon, where are you? x  
Bram<3 : si, are you coming to lunch? x  
Bram<3 : are you okay? X  
Bram<3 : si, i saw you left school. Where are you? Getting kinda worried x  
Bram<3 : babe, at least let me know you're safe and alright? X  
Bram<3 : simon?  
Bram<3 : please pick up, i'm worried x  
Bram<3 : babe, can you please call me when you get this? I love you x

Simon sighed, guilt slowly creeping up on him. He could've had the decency to at least let bram know where he was, and that he was safe. He swiped left on one of the many missed calls he had from bram and lifted the phone to his ear, knowing bram was out of classes by now. 

"simon, are you alright?" was the first thing he said when he picked up after two rings. 

"yeah," simon said quietly as he sat on his bed, feeling his legs start to get tired from standing up. 

"where are you?" 

"i went home. Sorry," he replied. 

"don't be sorry si, it's okay. Want me to come over?" he replied, voice equally as quiet. 

"please? I feel kinda weird," he said, a little spacey. 

"yeah of course, i'll be there in a bit, okay? You should probably do a blood test si," bram reminded him as simon heard shuffling and background noise. 

"i don't wanna," he whined and he knew that it sounded as if he were drunk. He wasn't, but he was definitely feeling weird. 

"i know, si, but you've got to. Have you done any today?" he asked, presumably walking to his car now judging by the changing volume of background noise. 

"yeah, i did one!" he said defensively. Bram sighed. 

"you know that's not enough. Could you do one please? For me?" bram asked as simon sighed. 

"do i have to?" he knew he sounded like a child, but right now, maybe that's what he needed and wanted. 

"please. Look, i gotta go so i can drive to yours, but please do one before i get there," bram asked as simon nodded before hanging up and realising that bram couldn't see him. 

He knew he should. Bram asked him to, his nurse would get mad. His parents would be mad. Nora would be disappointed. He'd let everyone down if he didn't do it, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't will his body to move from where it was sat on the bed. 

He didn't move for the ten minutes it took bram to drive to his house. He heard bram come into the house, and come up the stairs towards his room. 

"hey si," he said as he walked into the room, seeing simon sat on the bed, staring at a patch on the carpet. 

"i'm sorry, i didn't do it," he mumbled as he turned his gaze onto bram. 

"that's okay, we'll do it now then, yeah?" bram said, putting a hand on simon's knee as he sighed and nodded, knowing there was no escaping it now. He watched bram as he retrieved his bag from where he had chucked it, and grabbed the kit from it, bringing it back over to simon. Bram crouched down in front of him as simon slowly did the test whilst bram rubbed his knee comfortingly. 

"28.2," simon said quietly with a frown, making bram frown too. 

"so what, another injection or something?" bram asked as simon shrugged. 

"i don't know, i think so," simon said, getting up off the bed and walking over to his desk, opening one of the drawers to grab a big purple book. It had child drawn cartoons on it, and was supposedly his little diabetes handbook, except it really was not little. He sat back down on the bed with the book, sitting down next to bram who wrapped an arm around him whilst he found the section he needed. 

"yeah, insulin," simon said quietly, sighing as he put the book down on the bed and leant into bram's arm a bit. 

"okay, well we can do that a minute, right?" bram said encouragingly and simon nodded. He did the injection without much fuss and with a kiss from bram before putting the kit on the floor and curling up into bram's lap. 

"i feel crappy," he mumbled as bram chuckled. 

"in what way, my love?" he asked, stroking simon's hair gently to try and soothe him. 

"i feel really thirsty and tired," he replied as bram nodded. 

"well, let's fix that. What time are your parents and nora due home?" 

"i think nora has a competition tonight for her cooking, so not til late," simon said, not moving from where he was on bram. 

"let's go get something to drink then, yeah?" bram asked, as simon nodded and slowly got up. Bram grabbed his hand once he was up and led him down the stairs. 

"this is too much," simon murmured as they neared the bottom and before he knew it, he was on bram's back being carried through his house in the direction of the kitchen. Bram gently set him down on the island in the kitchen before setting about making two cups of tea, one with more milk in for simon per his request. When he set the mug down beside simon and stood in between his legs, simon looked down at him with a soft smile, despite his slightly blurry gaze. 

"thank you, i love you," he said quietly, making bram smile as he rested his hands on simon's hips. 

"i love you too, always," bram replied, before straightening his back slightly to lean up and kiss his boyfriend gently. When he pulled away, simon had a smile on his face, and a slight blush. 

Afterwards, simon got down from the counter and they went into the living room, putting their tea on the coffee table in front of them and bram went to hang up his jacket and take off his shoes, sensing he was going to be here for a while. 

By the time he had returned, simon had chosen a film he wanted to watch, Coco. 

"it's a sweet film, alright," simon immediately defended, making bram laugh. 

"i never said anything, si," bram chuckled, sitting down again and letting simon adjust himself around him. They ended up with simon half sprawled over bram, with bram's arms wrapped around simon and simon's arms wrapped around bram. 

"i'm sorry i've been such a pain in the ass recently," simon said a few minutes into the film. 

"you haven't simon, you've just been going through a rough time, i get it," bram replied quietly, still half focused on the film. 

"i still feel bad for it though, i know i've been really high maintenance recently." 

"who said i don't love high maintenance though?" bram replied, making simon smile slightly. 

They spent their evening watching films, with simon occasionally complaining about how he never wanted to have high bloods ever again. It ended with simon falling asleep whilst still sprawled over bram. 

When bram heard the lock click in the door, he was quick to shush nora, emily and jack as they walked into the living room where simon was softly snoring on his chest. 

"aw, bless him," emily said with a smile on her face as nora went straight up to her room and jack went to take beiber out into their garden. 

"he had high blood sugars or something and he was feeling pretty crappy so i stayed for a while. I hope that's okay with you?" bram said from where he was half watching the film he had put on and half paying attention to his phone. 

"bram, honey, of course that's okay. Is he alright?" emily asked, sitting in one of the living room chairs. 

"i don't know. I think he's getting there, it's just slow." bram shrugged, as emily nodded in understanding. 

"well, i'm glad he has you. We don't seem to get through to him, i think he's in denial for the most part."

"he probably is, it's a lot of change all at once, and simon has never been good with change," bram replied, looking down at his boyfriend with a fond smile. 

"well, i'll leave you two alone. Thank you for taking care of him, bram," emily said before leaving the room. 

She never had to thank him. He loved his boyfriend, he always would, and he wasn't going to let this disease break them. It might break simon, but he would always be there to pick up the pieces.


End file.
